I. The original divine intention and divine ideal in marriage was the union of one man and one woman in a life long indissoluble bond.
God made only one woman for a suitable and adequate companion (help meet) for the one lonely and inadequate man He had previously made. Genesis 2:20-25. Jesus confirmed and restored the divine ideal in marriage and placed a label of prostitution on a departure from this original intention of God. Mark 10:6-12.
II. Since the first woman was taken out of man's flesh and since in marriage two become "one flesh", the marriage bond is basically a physical union ("bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh") and is therefore binding only as long as "both shall live" physically. Genesis 2:21-24.
Although basically a physical union, the ultimate goals, blessings and achievements in marriage can only be fully realized when enriched by spiritual oneness and spiritual ideals.
III. When the physical death (not spiritual death) of one of the marriage partners takes place it is lawful and right for the living one to remarry since the departing partner has moved into the world where they "neither marry, nor are given in marriage." Matthew 22:30, Romans 7:2.
IV. In the Old Testament context because of the "hardness" ("lack of spiritual perception" — Strongs Greek Concordance) of men's hearts, God winked at (Acts 17:30) divorce and permitted remarriage. Mark 10:5.
V. Along with God's tolerance of divorce and remarriage in the Old Testament He strictly forbade a man who divorced his wife and married another to ever return to his original wife. This, God declares would be an abomination unto Him because it would cause the land to sin. Deuteronomy 24:4. Centuries Jeremiah later observes that a divorced and remarried man returning to his first wife greatly polluted the land. Jeremiah 3:1.
VI. In the New Testament era because of new universal convicting power of the Holy Spirit reproving the World of sin, (John 16:8; Acts 2:17) and because of better spiritual perception, and because we have Old Testament failures to profit by, (I Corinthians 10:6,11) and because the marriage union is now a direct type of Christ and the Church, God no longer,"winks" at divorce and remarriage. M 10:2-12, Romans 7:1-3.
VII. Since marriage is basically a physical union, God recognizes the marriage bond of unbelievers as well as the marriage of believers. Unbelievers, when married, can enjoy an honorable, wholesome and morally sound marriage union. Hebrews 13:4. John the Baptist was reprimanded Herod (this was in the context of unbelievers) for having his brother's wife implying that his brother Philip and his wife had been legitimately and consistently married.
VIII. The marriage union is initiated by vows of mutual love and faithfulness and consummated by a properly authorized administrator. The mere sex union (fornication by two unmarried persons does not initiate or consummate the marriage bond. While such a union is a "one flesh" union (I Corinthians 6:15-18) it is not a union that God hath together. Under the law marriage was regulated following such behaviour unless the father of the maiden objected. Deuteronomy 22:28-29. If the act would have constituted marriage the father could not have objected to marriage because it would have already been consummated.
IX. The New Testament allows for no divorce and remarriage for those who have legitimately united in the marriage bond. Luke 16:18, Romans 7:1-3. Matthew's "fornication" exception (Matthew 5:32,19:9) which was written with the Jewish setting in mind can possibly best be understood in the experience of Joseph and Mary who in espoused state were considered husband and wife before the consummation of their marriage (Matthew 1:19,20, see also Deuteronomy 22:23,24). Joseph thinking that Mary committed fornication was minded to put away (divorce her) before they were actually married. This would have been altogether consistent with Matthew's presentation of Christ's teaching on divorce.
X. In the New Testament era those who were divorced and remarried with the former companion living, live in a state of continuous adultery. Luke 16:18. "Committeth" means action going on" (Greek).
XI. A second marriage with the first marriage companion living is considered a marriage irrespective of its adulterous involvement. Luke 16:18; Romans 7:13.
XII. When one of the marriage partners is or becomes an unbeliever this does not invalidate the marriage bond. I Corinthians 7:13-15
XIII. When for any reason marriage partners may become estranged from each other to the point of separation, the involved person, in order to save their marriage bond and make reconciliation possible, must remain unmarried. For what knowest thou, O wife, [who are separated from your husband] whether thou shalt save thy husband? [by remaining unmarried] or how knowest thou, O man, [who art separated from your wife] whether thou shalt save thy wife? [by remaining unmarried]. I Corinthians 7:11-16. Since involvement in marriage with a second partner closes the door for first marriage reconciliations, and the second involvement constitutes a state of adultery, the only safe conclusion is that such involved person must live free from any future marriage relationship in order to be married to Jesus Christ. "If any man come to me, and hate not his ... [illegitimate] wife he cannot be my disciple."
XIV. Just as the church loses her testimony against murder, drunkenness, theft, participation in war, etc. when she invites or tolerates such conditions in her fellowship, she also loses her testimony against divorce and remarriage (legalized adultery—licensed prostitution) when she receives or tolerates this degenerating evil within her ranks. In order to keep alive a testimony against divorce and remarriage the Church must maintain a position against harboring the divorce fowls in the branches of the kingdom tree.
Turning the grace of God into lasciviousness (licensed immorality) constitutes or leads to apostasy according to Jude 4.
XV. God's requirements for marriage are based on His "long range" method of having godliness preserved in the earth. Already in the Old Testament God warned against a man dealing treacherously with the wife of his youth (first wife) and stated his hatred for "putting away" (divorce) because He was seeking "a godly seed", implying that a godly seed will not exist in the presence of divorce and remarriage. Malachi 2:15, 16.
One of the five causes listed for the down fall of Rome is "divorce and the decline of the home." The church cannot prosper tolerating that which brings ruin to Empires. "A little leaven [eventually] leaveneth the whole lump."
XVI. In order to deal redemptively with those involved in divorce and remarriage we must preach a deliverance that lifts them out of their adulterous relationship. The remedy for all sin is faith, repentance, confession and forsaking. The Biblical requirement is "holiness without which no man shall see the Lord."
XVII. The price of divine approval often calls for a break in human relationships. Luke 12:53, 14:26. In Ezra 10 those who had taken strange wives in ignorance of the requirement of the law, some of whom had children born to them, put them away to acquire the approval of God. The divorce mills of America are now putting asunder 5000 marriage partners daily involving 700,000 children annually. If the devil can get people to pay this kind of price for something that wrecks society and leads souls to hell, how much more should we be ready to pay the price of an incorruptible crown. Heaven will be cheap at any price.
XVIII. Since the birth of Christ and the birth of the Church (the Bride of Christ), and because the Church will eventually be united with Christ in a marriage union, the present marriage bond between one man and one woman is a type of Christ and the Church. Ephesians 5:32. Inasmuch as there will be no divorce issuing from that eternal marriage bond, every marriage relationship which is broken today by the attraction and intrusion of a stranger is a broken type which God calls adultery. Just as those persons who allow the love and friendship of the world to take their love away from God are spiritual adulterers and adulteresses, (James 4:4) just so those marriage partners who allow a strange love to break their marriage bond are physical adulterers and adulteresses. Every husband-wife relationship should typify the satisfaction which Christ will find in His bride and which the church finds in Him.
– Aaron M. Shank
December 1972